When visiting a country for the first time, what would be the best attitude to have? Should I think the absolute worst about them simply because they are different from me and what I am accustomed to? Or should I study the new culture, suspending judgement, while I gather information about the language, customs, culture, food, etc.? Clearly, unless we are fighting against some pretty serious internal issues, it would be the latter option. I think we would be better served by considering differences between people as initially a wonderful opportunity to learn and have a new experience.

*Does being different make you feel awkward and distressed?*

There are some people with whom we have much in common. There are others who we consider (and most likely they us) as being so alien that we cannot fathom how they arrived at the conclusions and beliefs that they currently have. They seem to have a much different view of the world than we do. Our initial impulse to perhaps treat this difference as “bad” can be misleading and potentially detrimental. If we head off in that direction, our interactions often have a greater chance of being fraught with strife, high levels of emotion, and conflict. What if, instead of reacting, we act as an objective journalist?

An objective journalist acts as a curious investigator. Suspending personal opinions and beliefs, they seek out to gather as many data points as possible so that they can report the object of their fascination with anyone who might listen. An objective journalist leaves their personal agendas behind and seeks to have the single agenda of uncovering information. They, like a curious tourist, begin to explore the unknown.

*When you are curious and open-minded, others can’t help but follow—spread it around.*

In today’s divisive culture, we can find ourselves on the opposite side of a whole host of spectrums. Our initial impulse is to stay within the confines of our echo chambers, constantly exposing ourselves to those with whom we most agree. Such exposure can lead to a feeling of self-righteousness, a false belief that you have the other side “figured out,” and then a slew of beliefs about the other side that might or might not even be true. A fierce tribalism forms and the character assassinations begin. Little true exploration of the “other side” is even attempted.

Instead, I propose we fight that impulse and seek out people who are very different than we are (e.g., culturally different, politically different, or even religiously different) and begin a conversation. Here are some helpful tips on how you can take such a journey.

*Embrace what makes you unique; it’s your greatest strength.*

Identify someone without whom you do not agree or who is very different than you are in some way. This individual can be a family member, friend, or even a stranger. For example, one might speak to a person of another faith.

*It’s our differences that make us invaluable to each other.*

Ask them to meet with you. I have found that most people love to talk and eat, especially if you are paying for it! This way, you are introduced to a new cuisine as well.

Ask more questions than you answer. Ask every question you can think of that might help you best understand their point of view. Use those famous questions you learned in school who, what, when, where, why, how.

*What makes you different is what makes you unforgettable.*

Let’s use a different example, politics. Let’s pretend you are completely confused by a member of a particular party. You simply can’t understand why they believe what they believe.

Here are some sample questions to get you started (you can substitute any you choose – just remember, you are trying to get the information from them you would want to give them if they were asking you the same questions:

Who – who did you learn this belief from?
What – what do you like best about this political party?
When – when did you start believing this for yourself?
Where – where do you think this party will take people if they were to have their way?
Why – why do you like this party over the others?
How – how do you think these parties are similar and different?

*Diversity of thought fuels progress and possibility.*

Listen well. Try your best not to interrupt. Ask open-ended questions. Ask for clarification if you are having a hard time understanding. Take notes (with their permission of course). Read it back to make sure you have it right (“Is that what you are saying?

Don’t argue. Remember, this is not a debate. This is an investigation. Your goal is to understand what they believe and why they believe it.

Different does not always (or even often) mean bad. People who seem different than you most likely arrived at these differences the same way you did. Before I seek to even debate someone, it would be wise to truly seek to understand them. Becoming a worldview tourist can help decrease angst even in a debate as you have spent the time to get to know the other side. You might be surprised to find that you have much in common with those who seem very different than you. You can bridge the seemingly unjumpable chasm between “them” and you.